Dreams

For the last three days I've noticed this folded set of papers on the kitchen counter.

I've worked around them.

Groceries. Sweaters. Phone charger.  I figured they were someone else's -- I didn't put them there.  And on a side note, we have a fantastic pile of stuff that accumulates on the side of the same counter for the same reason.  No one puts it there.  No one wants to remove it.  So we pile it up.  Perhaps we are frustrated archaeologists.

So, this morning I decide to look at these papers in an effort to reclaim my counter.  They are printouts made on February 11, 1998 of three of my dreams.  Yes, three of MY dreams.  1998.  February.  They are addressed to my analyst.  Another side note -she used Prodigy.  And the entire set of computer coding appears on the email page.  We were so cutting edge at that time!

I am amazed at the presence of these dreams.  On multiple levels.  Most notably their presence on my kitchen counter.  I cannot tell you just how far I've come in the span of 13 years. It is almost a lifetime.  And yet reading those dreams, I can see and feel the images, I remember them clearly and I still dream them in slightly new and different ways.

I don't normally do this but I'm going to share them. 

***

1. I was in a  place of gathering for a trip, like a huge airport with stores and hotels and shops.  I am going on a long trip.  There's a model of the "world" it looks like Narnia or some other world. I am waiting at a hotel then walk to the airport with an older woman on the same flight.  When I get to the gate I realize I've left my carry on bag a the hotel and I go through a door to the beach and must run to get it.  I only have 5 minutes and it is VERY far away. I begin to run and I think I'll never make it and I'll give out but I am in good shape and the run is easy.  (I wake up here, the go back to sleep)

Joe and I are at a convention of some kind and there is an organized tour of a large Wal-Mart, maybe the world's largest, there are little trains taking us around.  We get separated.  I find 2 rakes to buy - one red, one green. I want this cardboard box whish is the perfect size for something (I can't remember) but it is $254 and that's just too much.  At the end of the tour is the check out and there is a long line snaking through rails out in the rain moving toward the cashiers.  I get all the way through then I realize I forgot my purse with the money.  I go down a huge escalator to find Joe.  He has bought some new clothes and looks younger.  He can't find his money either.  But he comes up the escalator with me to negotiate.  I wake up.

2. This dream is a kind of recurring dream in which I go to this place...it is sort of my "secret" place...it is far away and in the dreams I have to journey a long time to get there...in this dream I take my parents with me for the first time...we first walk a long way through a shallow wood...then we take a small boat through a marshy place...I know exactly where to go because I have been here so many times...we get out of the boat and walk up a steep heal to a kind of road that follows the ridge and we finally come to the place...it is like a large ranch or plantation and it is owned by a wealthy sort of benefactor that I've never met but who has given me permission to come here and ride horses whenever I want to...up until now I've always come alone and kept it secret...there is a boy there too, he is blond and small.

3. I am in a place like New York...and I'm at an amphitheater or large convention hotel.  I meet some people who are very interesting and funny and they take me in to be part of their group.  The police are hovering around the edge of this group as if they are waiting for them to do something wrong, but I get the feeling they are just an avant garde group not criminals...like writers, artists and actors.  The hotel or amphitheater is also near the beach and there is much going out to swim and then coming back up.  Actually, it looks like the beach at St. Augustine where I grew up. Towards evening I get tired and everyone sort of sleeps in their seats or in small groups so I go to this woman, Linda, and she lets me sit at her feet, with my head on her knee to sleep.  I sleep very well, then she wakens me when she hears me snoring...it is kind of funny and everyone starts to wake up. A friend of ours, Larry, is going to be on TV along with a few other guys who are sober, they are going to talk about being sober and AA.  We all try to find televisions to watch the show.  I get on a bus (which is actually like a train or monorail) and at the next stop I squeeze behind the driver to get out.  I'm afraid I've gotten on the wrong bus and I'll be taken way out of my way.  After the train leaves the stop i realize I'm trapped inside this cave-like tunnel.  There is live electricity all around me.  Two workers see that I'm there and tell me that I'll have to wait for the next train and then walk all the way through to get out on their side of the tracks.  Anything but that and I'll be electrocuted.  I wait and the next train comes and I wake up.

***

What is amazing to me is to see what my life was at that time, and how these dreams give so much information to me.  Not that I could see it then.  But now, looking back I can see a whole host of clues, snapshots of energy and possibility, and even some guidance trying to make it's way into my consciousness.

They are still filled with potential, and energy.  I think I'll take some time to sit with them, and then do some analytical work on them.

I mean, they showed up for a reason, right?