Real Connections.

It turns out that blogging can make real connections in my life. Really. Not just pseudo-connections (like a book character that actually answers back) but where my heart is engaged, and my day is affected. For good and for sad.

Two days ago the woman who runs Charlotte Was Both (a blog I follow) and whose books I have read, wrote that her husband died suddenly. I cannot get her out of my mind. Her children. Her sorrow. The community who has lost a good writer, a good husband, a good father, a good man. While I didn't "know" Michael I certainly knew of him, and can feel the pain - even from here.

And, today is the two year anniversary of Jesse's death. I know his mom through blogging. Through anonymous posting and laughter and opinion and deep mother sharing. But through reading and letting myself take in her words and sharing. And so this morning I woke with them on my mind, and on my heart. And my day is tuned in to the (oh so short) life and oh too soon death of her son. And I feel that pain too. Even from here.

I suppose in an earlier incarnation of my life I might have taken these two instances and said "no thanks" and given it up. I'm not a big fan of pain, but as I get older I recognize the fact that pain and change are not going to go away. And I wouldn't trade the real connection and the satisfaction that brings just to avoid some pain of feeling connected to another human being.

So for these women I consciously take a portion of my day, and dedicate it to thinking of them, and holding them (and their families) in my heart. With love.