Today has felt like one of "those" days. Where anxiety lurks and panic lingers.
It's only 9:15.
This may grow into a longer post as the day goes on...but for now I just wanted to put it "out" there so maybe it would slow down the looming fear inside. We'll see.
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And now its 2:35 and not much better. Yuck. I hate days like this.
I found that focusing my attention on the anxiety itself made it worse. The worst thing you can do is pay attention to it. Sort of like Fray Tribbles.
ReplyDeletebe gentle with yourself...this too shall pass.
ReplyDeleteanytime I come here to read you are always talking about something revelent in my life as well. I've gotten some good advice here and wanted to return the favour
Schmutzie you're absolutely right. And that is what basically made the day end up okay. :) Thanks.
ReplyDeleteMaggie - thank you. Yes, it shall pass. I know that one of the things going on is that many people in my life are experiencing serious life challenges. I'm one of their "go-to" people and I'm glad to do that.
ReplyDeleteIt's not necessarily their problems that make me anxious. I get that it's separate. And it's not that I think these things will happen to me. I get that it's not that too.
But as a child growing up (in an alcoholic home) I was always told I was "too sensitive" and came to believe for a while that being sensitive to others was some kind of defect.
So now, empathizing with others, and really being there for them arouses sadness, grief, fear, etc... not unmanageable, but palpable.
And then, just like when I'm writing, these crow-like old voices from the past come up to make me feel like I'm wrong-headed in my feelings, and out of touch with reality....stuff like that.
It's been a long time since it got hold of me so tightly like yesterday.
I'm feeling better today.
So thanks.
I know exactly what you mean.
ReplyDeleteBeing sensitive is a challenging path.
I enjoyed reading your BOTF post on this general topic today -- and the discussion that ensued.
ReplyDeleteThanks Thom. I had some serious reservations about it, but I'm glad I posted it.
ReplyDelete