Some of the things going on.

So, sometimes during the day I sit on the sofa in my kitchen (yeah, I have a sofa in the kitchen with a large window right behind me on to the backyard that is filled with feeders and birds) and I sit with my laptop and surf various blogs and sites and read the news and so on. I can waste a lot of time doing this. Time I could be spending on my art or my writing.

But every now and then I realize that I'm not exactly wasting time as much as resting and refueling. There are lots of things going on right now in the lives of others I know -- and I'm a kind of point person, support person. Here are some:

1. A lovely, 26 year old, mother of a 10-month old boy, who is the daughter of a dear friend just had surgery yesterday to remove a tumor in her rectum. Very malignant but the prognosis is good. Much chemo and radiation to follow. She will be home next week.

2. A dear friend in her 60's was life-flighted to a University Medical Center with bleeding on the brain where they have stopped two brain hemorrhages and are still watching one. She is awake, alert and eating and drinking. We're hopeful she will be out of ICU in 2 weeks.

3. A dear friend lost her beloved nephew in that horrific boating incident in which two NFL players also died. Her daughter is the same age as my daughters and was raised with her cousin like a brother. The grief continues unabated.

4. I sponsor a woman in Al-Anon and the anniversary of the birth of her daughter is soon. This dear daughter died at the hands of a babysitter when she was 6 months old. That was 8 years ago and the reverberations continue. Sitting in silence and love and with attention while she continues to grieve is all I can do.

5. My daughter was on the phone with a friend who was in the process of committing suicide 3,000 miles away. The young woman died. My daughter is suffering from continued nightmares and panic. She is 3,000 miles away from me. I seem to be bouncing around like a ping pong ball on whether I should go to her. Or support her as she works through her feelings. Or what. It seems that whatever I do will be wrong.

6. Two friends of mine, older people but friends nonetheless, who I dearly loved died. Within a week of each other. I miss them.

So, none of these terrible things is happening to me. I am, on the one hand safe, sound and secure. Life is good. I'm a banal representation of "the good life" -- nothing wrong here.

Yet I am also deeply connected to people that are suffering big stuff, going through immense difficulties and needing their friends (me) and family (me) to be present. I'm trying. I'm hoping I'm available.

So, I guess part of me sits on this sofa surfing the internet so that feelings and grief and sadness and so forth can wash through me and engulf me without necessarily tipping me over.

I hope so.