Ebbs and Flows

Life is full of ebbs and flows ... periods of insane busyness and hurry ... followed by a time of peace.

These days have been rather busy ... the planning, packing, organizing.

Feeling out of the moment.

Trying to plan for and know the unknowable.

Like the weather.

But there is just nothing I can do about that.

I can throw another sweatshirt in the bag...and another pair of shorts, too.

A bathing suit, and something to wear to an opera.

Will it rain? Will it be cold?

Just how hot can it get in San Antonio in July?

The cat has an ear infection.

Better get that foaming liquid in both ears ... and the drops.

And the antibiotic.

Where are the binoculars? Do I have a bird book for Oregon?

Texas?  In July?  Really?

Grass is growing among the flagstones.

The floor is beginning to look like a floor - it is solid.

But organic.

I'm too fat to meet them for lunch in Philly.

Walk the labyrinth.

One more time.

And again.

Breathe.

All will be well.

All is well.

TIme Out For Gardening

Labyrinth Is Complete!

I put in this bench

so I could look at this:

Today I finished dragging the last piles of dirt

into the paths

and even got some flowers planted

and herbs.

Tomorrow morning I walk.

I envision quite a few little creatures like this

and memorials 

of people I have held in my  heart.

I am pretty grateful.

And pretty amazed!

Not So Fast There, Missy.

>: /   <-- is that a growling frowning face emoticon?  Because that's what I mean it to be.

"Nearly Done" - ha!  Might as well hang a "Mission Accomplished" banner with that last blog post.

Remember this?  It's a Pergola that had kind of gone to seed and I decided to use it as the entrance to the labyrinth.  I liked the feeling of "ruin" that it had, and I imagined fixing it up (loose terminology there) and having a kind of open, organic room to meditate or journal in ... and then proceeding out into (or coming back from) walking the labyrinth.

 Well. Not so fast there, missy.  Hubby-the-engineer would have none of the "fixing it up stuff" and called in a crew of his friends to straighten the boards and make it sound.

And while I'm sure I can eventually appreciate the "soundness" of it, at this moment I can't stand the industrial strength galvanized cabling and pressure treated wood beams.  Blech.  Next they are coming in to flatten the floor and make it level.  Really?  WTF do I need a level floor in there?  I'm not going to be living in it.

Okay.  So we're having a little intensity around mixing the feminine and masculine elements here.

And, I'm not so wild about the sand that came. 

It's too white!  It feels like some kind of fake beach or something.

After umpteen wheelbarrow loads I am thinking to myself -
"THIS LOOKS LIKE CRAP!"

Not exactly the meditative energy I began with, or want to continue with.  So I've hit a metaphorical brick wall - and that is what it looks like. (Not to mention - shoveling hurts my back!)
Harumph.

If I step back I can still see the vision I had.  So I'm going to do that ... and hopefully the "crew" will finish and I can reclaim the whole space.  And figure out what to do about the sand.  I'm thinking topsoil.  

Maybe I need to focus on some plants?  

As an aside, and probably not all that accidental in the grander scheme of the Universe, my husband and I will celebrate 25 years of marriage on April 13.  It's funny how even after all that time we can still hit these spots where I think to myself - who the heck are you and don't you even know me??  

He definitely does.  It's not about him.  It's not about the sand.  

When things shift inside of me - heart and mind - 

it's always tempting to imagine someone else is the culprit.

I think I'll focus on the Wisteria.

Nearly Complete!!

All the rocks are laid!  The full pattern is down, and the pine straw is strewn.

This is the entrance and the first turn.  Up in the right corner is the center circle.

These areas will be planted - herbs, flowers, medicinals.

There's the center circle - can't wait to get my bench in!

Rocks!

I've got this marvelous pile of sandstone rocks.  With some granite thrown in.  And a few limestone as well. The pile looked much larger at the rockyard.  Next to my flags and tape it looks rather paltry.

I got to work anyway - it's overcast and cool, but I was able to work up a sweat placing them along the pattern laid out.  There are hundreds of Redwing Blackbirds singing in the trees as I work, and every now and then a whistle from a Mockingbird tries to be heard as well.  Cardinals flit around, they seem curious about what I'm doing.  I suppose they wonder where the feeders are going to go.

This is the beginning up to the first left turn.

 Here the first and third turns are emerging.

And I'm coming along nicely.  The stones feel a lot like mosaic pieces, almost like they have a place they want to rest.  There is a peace that accompanies me in the work, that I hadn't realized would be there.  And oddly enough, there doesn't seem to be any space in my head for a worry.
(oh, the pine straw is for the visual, it will be covered in dirt and mulch)

There are some small wild violets popping up for Spring, and they seem to fit right between the rocks!

(I'm really not surprised - but I am delighted)

More Thoughts on The Labyrinth

I found this labyrinth pattern and think I may like it even better.  It gives me a feeling of the path having a few more turns, and maybe not so straight and accessible -- kind of like the way my life works.  I like that.

And I've seen some garden path pictures that are pretty close to how I want to construct the footpath of the Labyrinth. 

This has a nice look to it.  Very organic, and alive.  I'm thinking I could also plant some herbs along the path, to bring in some wonderful smells.  Rosemary does really well in our yard all year long.                 

I don't know if I want to plant a tree in the middle, if I do, I think I'd want it to be taller and have the bench under it.  Again, I like the organic, growing sense of this one.  I think I'd use some flowering plants too, since we can usually have color all year long.

These garden labyrinths are also very lovely.  I have a bit more shade, and again I feel pretty sure I want more color ... more plant materials in the pathway markers.  I think I'll also add some small seating around.

This is the Labyrinth at The Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island.  I think the picture is from when it was first built, which was quite a while ago.  I like the way the stones are in the earth as if they have been there forever.  When we were there two years ago there was a lot of mossy growth on the stones, and it looked even more alive. 

 

 So these pictures give a bit of an idea of where I'm headed.  I know my project won't be an exact copy, but it's the essence or feel of the garden space I'm going for.  

 

This week the spray paint comes out!  And I go look for rocks! 

Building a Labyrinth

 

Classic 7 Circuit Labyrinth

After much research, I've decided on this as the Labyrinth style I'm going to create in my yard.  However, rather than paved or canvas or mown-grass paths, I'm going to build garden paths.  I have this picture in my head, and I'm going to see if I can bring it to life.

This is the area of my yard where it will go.  This shot is looking west at the remains of our personal "ruin" - it was a Pergola built years ago to showcase some gorgeous Wisteria, however the Wisteria grew massive arms of tremendous strength and tore off the roof of the Pergola without ever blooming!  Not a single purple flower!  So now we have a ruin.  We're going to lay some branches across the top and make a kind of temporary thatch for the roof, and turn it into a meditation spot.  And, from the east entrance one will enter the Labyrinth.

From inside the Pergola this is the space.  From the entrance to the other side is 21 paces (my paces - hey, it's MY Labyrinth) and then 22 paces across.  I suppose I'll measure that to know, but this is the size.

 

To the south from the entrance.

 

To the north from the entrance.

I think I'll plant some evergreens to screen the house a bit.

So, there it is.

The idea is hatched.

The seed is planted.

Turning The Soil

Turning The Soil

Knees pressing, back stretching, shoulders pulling, hands reaching deeply into the damp earth, she begins the garden early, early in the day. There is a lightening of the sky, but no sun yet. Birds tentatively chirp and chit and cluck as they test their tongues for the task ahead. Dawn will break soon, and the earth will move into a new day.

Turning the soil over in her hands, and watching the clumps dissolve; kneading the dirt like a luscious loaf of bread to be baked, this has become her ritual for gardening. The soil releases a smell of dank, earthy, richness that she can’t remember smelling anywhere else although she has walked this earth nearly 87 years. Only down on her knees, now-gnarled hands working the soil personally, intimately, this is how the special smell releases its aroma.

The garden gets smaller and smaller. She realized that a few years ago. It was unconscious for a long time, leaving off a row here, a section there. Stopping when she got tired, there was a little extra room for scattering sunflower seeds, or putting in a few stones, or just letting the grass reach a few new tendrils. Then around her birthday, what was it? three years? four years ago? She realized she just got tired a lot earlier, and wasn’t making the garden as big. She was shocked at first, that she could have fooled herself for so long. So proud that she was able to garden when so many of her friends were either dead or in wheelchairs.

Ah, the pride that goes before a fall. She is glad to know, now, that her garden diminishes with passing time. Her garden, her gardening, has a natural life and rhythm. She doesn’t have to think about it, or worry about it, or fret. She can simply reach down, and turn the soil. Now and then her thoughts wander and she can see the tiniest of garden patches. Maybe just a few feet. Of turned soil. Where she will rest. For eternity.

Writing Prompt

Here's my Writing Prompt for this week. I'm going to post my results here.

Planting Seeds, Tending Gardens.

These can be literal, actual seeds and gardens or metaphorical ones planed in our minds, our hearts or our souls. Spend some time thinking about these prompts. Plant them! See what grows!

* Write about being transplanted.
* Write about a seed that was planted.
* The sending down of roots.
* Turning the soil.
* Write about scattering seeds.
* Everything is green...

(taken from "The Writer's Retreat" by Judy Reeves)

Let's try something new this week. Instead of setting a timer let's write three times. It may be that we write three sentences at three different times. Or we write three paragraphs. Or we may use three different prompts on three different occasions. But sit down three separate times and use one or more prompts. Don't concern yourself with output, with length, and don't apologize!!!

These are your words, and this is your breath and your life!! There is space here - for whatever you write!!

----------------- For Further Writing ---------------

If you'd like to do something else try this (from Elizabeth Ayres' "Writing the Wave"):

Set your timer for five minutes. During that time make a list of all the words you love. No editing, no analyzing, no judging ... you can love the word for its meaning, for its sound, for its context, for any reason at all! Just make a list of as many words as you can think of that you love. You can use Names if you like.

Once you're done - choose four. And on a new sheet of paper make four columns headed by each of these words.

Now, rhyme and nonsense come into the mix! Write down ten words that rhyme with or grow out of rhyming with your words.

Here is an Example:

Zipper

clipper
nipper
nip
purr
sir
stir
flur
flurry
hurry
scurry

When you're done and you have four columns of nonsensical, but related, words ... see if a story line or idea jumps out.

Set your timer for 5 minutes and see if you can jot down a few ideas for a silly story, or a serious one. A short story, or a child's verse, or a conversation in a larger work. Something small, something contained ... something like a seed!

The Garden Grows pt. 2

The garden is officially thriving! We got the seedlings in the ground about a week ago, and with our current cold snap the little buggers seem to be settling in for a great winter growth-fest.

We have four different lettuces, carrots (both orange and purple) and a variety of herbs including sage, rosemary, marjoram, parsley, mint and lemongrass. I recently discovered Lemon Basil and am hoping to get some of those in as well.

In the other area we have Cabbage, Kale, Chard, Collards. I'm not sure when the Broccoli is going in, but soon. Now that we have the basic plots organized and planted, we can fill in with the experiments.

I want some of those little baby fingerling potatoes.

So far the birds seem to love the garden - I imagine there are quite a few bugs and worms that have been turned up with all the tilling and planting. We haven't seen any rabbits or deer yet. I bet they are just waiting for the lettuce to get a little more robust. I have to say it does my heart good to look out the window and see the possibilities of fruits of our labor. Every time I take another Aleve I remind myself of that.

Changing.

Oh you know the old saw "People never really change" and all that. Well, I am here to report that there are a few who do. And maybe more than a few.

About 9 months ago my husband and I decided to change the way we eat. We decided to do a few simple things:

1. Eat at home.
2. Eat freshly prepared food.
3. When we're done, write down what we eat.

We had studied some basic food plans and "diets" and weren't too thrilled about prospects, but we did want to go into our later years with a few less pounds and a little more energy.

And so we began. At first I was intimidated. I'm not much of a cook - or so I thought. I don't like cookbooks. I'm very sensitive about the food I make and so I hate it if someone critiques me.

But these things ended up not being such a big deal. I bought some fresh vegetables, some fish, some rice and some whole grain bread. I am a painter and so I decided to just make the most colorful meals I could.

After the first week I was kind of amazed that it was fun. I was getting into it, and getting intrigued. We had actually talked about things, laughed over the meals, and the days somehow felt longer. Go figure.

After the first month we had both lost 8 pounds and we felt great and I felt energized like I was on a mission. Who knew?

Then I picked up a book that I had started in the Fall, but set aside for various reasons. "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A year in the life of food" by Barbara Kingsolver. I read it avidly now ... and felt pulled into her family's attempt to eat consciously.

By this time it was just a subtle shift for me to move from homemade to healthy to local. It happened over the course of the next few months.

(Disclaimer: I've read all of Barbara Kingsolver's novels and loved every one so I already thought she rocked. This book though makes me wish I was related by blood, and I am wondering if I can gerry-rig Geneaology.com to make it happen.)

Fortunately for me Spring was coming to my home, and being in the South that meant fresh fruits and vegetables were plentiful. We are so lucky - we have strawberries, blueberries and peaches in our yard. As well as lettuce until the first days of 90 degree weather. We also have broccoli, snap peas, cucumbers and peppers galore. I can't grow a tomato to save my freaking life.

I wasn't as religious about it as the Kingsolver Hoppe family. And that's okay. I still bought some food at the grocery store, but I felt myself looking at labels and wondering about the packaging and choosing the organics way more often than not.

And then I just trusted the mystery of it all. I didn't try to figure out how to make a switch, or whether or not we could sustain this. Nor did I try to convert my family or preach a new way of life. I just began making some changes. I piled the fresh stuff directly into my canvas bags, and stopped buying bottled water. "We're out of water!" my husband would holler and I'd look at him like he was crazy and fill up a beautiful cobalt blue glass with sparkling water and ice and hand it to him. With a kiss. He doesn't miss the plastic bottles now.

I've found some friends who bake bread and now I'm thinking maybe I could do that. I bought Rikki Carroll's book on making cheese at home. My husband fainted but he revived in about an hour and is very much looking forward to that possibility. I think cheese is his totally favorite food.

I haven't had a diet coke in weeks. And I didn't even realize that til just now.

It is mysterious, this change. I used to eat out about 80 or even 90 % of the time. I always skipped breakfast. I struggled with weight and felt about 10 years older than I am -- and I"m old!! I turned 50 last year!

Now, after nine months of keeping it simple, keeping it real and keeping it full of color I've lost 37 pounds! My husband has lost over 50! We had no idea it could be that easy. I mean, it never felt like we were on a diet! Ever.

I even eat chocolate still!

So, I wonder what other old saws are ready to fall. But never let it be said that people can't change. They can. And I only know this because I did. In an area of my life that I had no idea I could, would or would WANT to change!

Yesterday my friend who gardens came out to the house and she is going to help me set up a mushroom growing contraption. And put in some rows of winter veggies. And she told me about a local dairy. And she has a friend who raises lambs and goats ..... and, well, I see some new horizon dawning.

And it is going to be pretty darn tasty.